this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
