so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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