Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
