happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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