your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
