He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
