Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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