i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
