i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
