you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
