is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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