I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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