The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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