your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
