Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
