In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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