I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
