Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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