I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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