im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
