I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
