After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
