so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
