Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
