I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
