She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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