You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
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