Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
