i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
