Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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