hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
