You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
