i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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