oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
