he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
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So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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