we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
