The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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