Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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