There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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