I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This baby is an asshole
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can I color on your dick again?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
