We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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