Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
