He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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