i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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