would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
