i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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