I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
