Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Green mimosas i think yes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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