he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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