i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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