That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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