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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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