I didn't shave. On purpose
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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