Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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