I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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