theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
