i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
