Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
