Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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