I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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