there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize