I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
wow bdsm is so cute
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