As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
