who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
