drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
