My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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