what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
