we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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