i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
