trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That accounts for only three of the penises
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
