My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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