I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
