If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize