think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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